The Agony of De-feet

This past Saturday I ran (jogged) a 3 mile race.  I've been running (jogging) now for 4 years.  You think it would be easy or at least enjoyable.  But the truth is running (jogging) for me is torture.  It is a complete mental struggle.  Before I even begin a race, no matter the miles, I am defeated before my sneakers cross the starting line.  It begins the moment I wake up.  Thoughts cross my mind....you suck.  Your slow.  You don't look like a runner.  You could be last.  Why do you do this?  Seriously....WHY?   Then there's the race.  All the "REAL" runners are there.  Looking all running like.  Stretching.  Warming up.  Having cute, funny conversations with one another.  Oh, it's a party for most....for me....it's hell.  My thoughts continue to play in my head...you suck.  Your slow.  Usually before I jog over the starting line I'm close to tears.  But I continue the task of placing one sneaker in front of the other and before I know it I'm jogging.  With each mile struggles occur, pain, feet hurt, breathing...but with in these miles there are good moments too.  I feel happy, alive, and I can say to myself..."self, you are doing it."  "Slow and steady."  And before I know it the finish line is in sight.  With each moment of an up there is a down but nothing can take a way the thrill of crossing a finish line.  That is the answer to the WHY...I jog because I finish.  Slow and steady.

A race is like life.  Not easy.  Lots of emotion.  Many ups and many downs.  But if at the end of my life I can cross the finish line happy with no regrets I will have won the race of a lifetime.