Words Spoken

Critical- adjective.  Marked by a tendency to find and call attention to errors and flaws.
Your house is dusty.

Similar...
hypercritical, inclined to judge too severely.
You dress like a slut.

sarcastic, expressing or expressive of ridicule that wounds.
You parent your children like a drill sergeant.

nitpicking; pettifogging; quibbling, over insignificant details.
Your hair is too long.
Your nails need cutting.
Why do you do it like that?

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
Mother Teresa

Red Heart Earrings

RED the rich color of love, deep-vibrant
Passion

Hearts- two hearts beat together with love
lying together side by side
rhythm of each breath, two hearts beat
skin upon skin
Darkness fills the room

Peace

Love wrapped up tightly
Love shown- Love grown
Two little feet- four little feet
Tiny hands- tiny mouths

Love between two
Love- deep love

Tender hearts

RED the color of love

Drive

cookie-MOMster is on a new journey.  Seven years ago my journey was motherhood.  I'm still on it and enjoying the ride...but my journey has made some turns.  Because of the road with all its twists and bends I've started climbing some wonderful hills with views of fulfilling a life dream...becoming a writer!  I self published my first book: Footprints in the Snow.  While writing this book an angel in heaven held my hand and gave me a voice.  It was a beautiful journey of compassion and love.  My journey continued as it made a sharp right smashing me into taking a good look at my career.  I was not in a good place.  I was completely drowning in stress.  I took control, made a detour and haven't looked in the rear view mirror once.  My road is open now with magnificent views on my left and right.  The road ahead is endless.  I look forward to embracing my new journey as a writer and book store owner.  Life is busy.  Life is full.  Life is up and down.  Cookies and many of them are still consumed.  I still chase happy.  Recently in a writing workshop I had everyone think of six words that summed up their lives at the point they are at in their life...I came up with...
A journey to find inner peace.
My hope is you'll sit back, buckle up and come on this ride with me.

* if you'd like to check out my new store, Ugly Dog Books or purchase my book, (10% of the proceeds will go St. Joseph's Food Cellar in Attleboro, Mass.)  Go to www.uglydogbooks.com
Email me if you'd like to order a book.  uglydogbooks@verizon.net

Empty

I hunger for something I can not touch
I thirst for something I can not taste

I search and can not find what it is I search for
I feel lost and frustrated

I reach out but nothing is there
I step out in front of me but I can not move

Nothing

I'm here, but I'm invisible
Why?

It is a loss that I feel
I can touch it, embrace it

I am angry.  I only want to scream at the face of nothingness
I can not...it is not there

It is painful, not a sharp pain but a dull, throbbing pain
It won't leave me

It haunts me daily

I hate its ugly face

I am empty

Paralyzed

My hand is over the flame
I feel nothing

The pin is piercing my skin
I feel nothing

My eyes burn
My throat aches
I feel nothing

Sleep comes
I am still tired

I'm awake
moving in a cloud called life

I feel nothing

My heart beats
My breath inhales and exhales

I'm numb

I'm alive

Ugly Dog Books, can I help you?

Swirling, twirling..faster and faster.  Round and round.  Up and down...

Stepping onto solid ground my head spins, my feet sway.  My chest is tight.  I'm sweating.  It takes a minute to talk....and when I do, I shout...

I've been on the ride of MY LIFE!!

This summer I went to work on a dream...I opened a new/used bookstore!  I carry speciality gift items, greeting cards and I have a writer's room.  I plan on having writing workshops, write nights and book clubs!  This experience has been breath taking.  A thrill ride. 

Life is good!  Life is write for me and it feels wonderful!

"Live the life you imagined."  Henry David Thoreau

Memere's Kitchen

I didn't name myself cookieMOMster for nothing.  I have been in a funk lately.  Writers call it writers block, I call it unable to think.  I have not been able to create a piece for my blog.  But today this hit me as I chewed my third, actually, most likely my fifth Chips Ahoy cookie.

The pure delight of reaching into that bright blue package.  Hearing the crinkle of the bag.  Grabbing the cookie, then biting off a piece.  The hard crunchy bite mixed in with the sweet taste of chocolate from those cute little chips brought me back to Memere's kitchen.

Every time I went over to visit her and Pep I knew I could reach in to the cookie jar and there would be a bunch of the round yummy cookies.  I always was taught to ask first, say please and thank you and not to be a pig.  The first three were easy.  But I'd always try to get more, sometime reaching in when Mem was in the living room while Pepere was outside.

It wasn't until my early adult age that I realized Mem tricked me.  I'd always grab two cookies and chew and smile.  Explaining to Mem with every bite how good these cookies are.  She'd say, "well it's because I made them."  Never did I question.  Memere was an excellent cook.  So why would I doubt the cookie?  Time moved on and one day this cookie got smart.  "Hey, those aren't home made." 

But to this day that cookie brings me a warm, happy, cozy feeling.  With each bite I am back in Memere's kitchen.  I can still see the paneling.  The Noah's Ark picture.  The dryer.  The window over the sink.  The round kitchen table in the center of the small room.  I can hear Pep outside doing some sort of work and I can see Mem in the kitchen cooking or folding laundry in the loving room.

It has been years since I have been inside fifty Mulberry Street- but today I went back. 
It was delicious.

Balloons to Heaven

It's Bampa's birthday
Hooray!

What color balloons would you like?
red for me
blue for me
green for daddy
yellow for mommy

The peaceful blue of the sky
The warmth of the sun

In a circle we stand
each with our colored balloon

1-2-3

Balloons to Heaven!

they drift upward
we watch them
they float up

Balloons to Heaven

The Agony of De-feet

This past Saturday I ran (jogged) a 3 mile race.  I've been running (jogging) now for 4 years.  You think it would be easy or at least enjoyable.  But the truth is running (jogging) for me is torture.  It is a complete mental struggle.  Before I even begin a race, no matter the miles, I am defeated before my sneakers cross the starting line.  It begins the moment I wake up.  Thoughts cross my mind....you suck.  Your slow.  You don't look like a runner.  You could be last.  Why do you do this?  Seriously....WHY?   Then there's the race.  All the "REAL" runners are there.  Looking all running like.  Stretching.  Warming up.  Having cute, funny conversations with one another.  Oh, it's a party for most....for me....it's hell.  My thoughts continue to play in my head...you suck.  Your slow.  Usually before I jog over the starting line I'm close to tears.  But I continue the task of placing one sneaker in front of the other and before I know it I'm jogging.  With each mile struggles occur, pain, feet hurt, breathing...but with in these miles there are good moments too.  I feel happy, alive, and I can say to myself..."self, you are doing it."  "Slow and steady."  And before I know it the finish line is in sight.  With each moment of an up there is a down but nothing can take a way the thrill of crossing a finish line.  That is the answer to the WHY...I jog because I finish.  Slow and steady.

A race is like life.  Not easy.  Lots of emotion.  Many ups and many downs.  But if at the end of my life I can cross the finish line happy with no regrets I will have won the race of a lifetime.

LOVE

Two beautiful gifts were given to me

Two sets of eyes glowing with love when they reach out their hand and place it in mine
Two vibrant sounds of laughter are heard from a room down the hall
Two boisterous sets of feet clamoring into the house

My life has been blessed with LOVE

The LOVE of being a mom
To love with my entire heart, my entire being
I never realized it could be possible to love so deeply

As they grow so does my love

Two beautiful gifts were given to me

Life Lessons 101

If someone were to ask me, "Kim who has taught you the most in life?"

I could answer...my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, cousins, hubby, sister, friends, teachers, college professors; even my 4 and 6 year old teach me daily. It is true, I have learned a great deal from all of the above. BUT the one who has taught me the most in life is.....

On a cold November, Saturday a very long time ago I was feeling alone. I had been separated from my first husband (I could actually use him too who taught me...but that's another blog) I was sad and empty inside. All the tears had gone- my heart broken.

I needed to heal.
I needed a friend.

So I drove myself to an animal shelter. Among the rows of sad and lonely dogs I see a beautiful, white and fluffy one. She simply sat and stared at me. All the others jumped and barked. She simply sat. I looked into her eyes and saw everything that I felt. I knew we had to be together. I took her home and named her HOPE.

We spent fourteen beautiful years together.
It was in those years that I learned....

To love unconditionally
To find joy in each day
To get excited to run in the rain and jump in the snow
To embrace the warm sun on a hot day and just rest
To take a walk and observe the miracles of nature
To curl up on a cozy bed and sleep the day away
To hug and kiss often
To be thankful for family and friends
To laugh at yourself, even when you look silly
To say sorry when you hurt the ones you love
To be gentle and kind
To never, ever give up HOPE

My dog HOPE- My life's teacher

Who is yours?

5 Ways for Mom to get PEACE

Even before the alarm rings there is a wet nose poking me, telling me it's time to wake up. Then the sound of pitter patter and "Mommy it's time to get up."

So begins the day....

dogs out, breakfast for the kids, feed the dogs, get everyone dressed, out the door we go....

get the kids to school then off to work....

phones ring, text messages sound, email beeps, paper work to finish. 5 O'clock....

get my coat, get the kids, off to soccer practice, band practice, ballet.
belly grumbles- make dinner. Homework, bath time, story time, bed.....

PAUSE- breathe....CAN'T....

laundry, shoot forgot to feed the dogs, feed the dogs, bathroom is a mess, load the dishwasher, finish reports, make tomorrows lunches, clothes into dryer, sweep, mop, dust, vacuum.....

finally,.... bed.

cold wet nose on the check...."Mommy , mommy time to get up."
one eye open, UGH. 5 a.m. Instant reply ............

How does a mom get PEACE?

P...pace yourself. It's not a race.
E...embrace each day. It truly is a blessing.
A...ask for help. You don't have to be supermom.
C...cut yourself a break. You are doing great.
E...energize yourself. Do something you enjoy for 10 minutes a day.

I grab a cup of coffee with a cookie and simply sit.

Peace out to all you busy moms and anyone else who can hardly breathe because of a busy life.

2011 It's Your Life

Once Upon a Time....

Once upon a time, in a little cozy town, on a wintry white night of December a baby girl was born.

Romance, Drama, Conflict, Sorrow, Triumph, Happiness and Hope fill the pages of her story. She continues to write chapter after chapter.
Characters have come in and stayed adding to her story filling it with love and laughter. While others have come in and gone leaving her to unravel the havoc that was created.
Each page that is turned she moves on and creates herself into something...a wife, a mother, a friend, an enemy, a movie star, a dancer, a villain, a rock star....giggles can be heard when many of the words are read, just as easy tears can fall when at times she feels sorrow or has pain deep with in the pages.
Yet as each page is written magic occurs.
Anything can happen in the story of life.

Happy 2011 to all. We are all main characters in our very own story...What will your story say this new year?

Once Upon A Time.......

Hey Santa get off my deck.....

Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house

Not a doggie was snoring
Not even Thoreau

The stockings were hung upon each bedroom
doorway with care

In hopes that Santa soon would be there

Konrad and Koby were comfy cozy in bed
While visions of Lightening McQueen flashed in their heads

And Kim in her baseball cap (Red Sox of course)
And Kurt wearing one too had just snuggled in just before two

When out by the pool there came such a noise
Rasta and Thoreau barked as we jumped out of bed to see what was the matter

Running to the sliders we peeked
then tore open the curtains
and switched on the porch light

The moon shone bright
on the fresh fallen snow
It gave the ground a shimmer
and made everything glow

When what to our eyes did we see
but a sleigh filled with toys
and eight flying reindeer

The driver was Santa
all dressed in red

I smiled knowing I should be in bed

He guided the sleigh down to the deck
I wanted to say
Hey Santa what the heck!

Deer poop to clean wasn't something I wished for
But Santa gave a nod
And I moved my bod

He scanned the room for his cookies and milk
Gave a burp as he finished
With the back of his arm wiped the milk from his beard

He placed each present under the tree
Whispering a quiet "damn" as he got up
Placing his hands on top of each knee

Kurt and I watched him work
Filling each stocking
As he stopped for a moment to pat each dog

Then he turned with a pivot
Out the door he ran

Jumping into his sleigh
He gave his team a shout out

"Let's get a move on"
"We don't have all night!"

And as he rode out of sight
we heard him say-

"Merry Christmas to all
and to all sleep tight."

20 Things I Know For Sure

Oprah does a thing at the end of her magazine..."what I know for sure", she always comes up with a thoughtful piece about life...blah-blah-blah. I always close the magazine pondering her thoughts but then thinking how the hell did she come up with that? So I've decided to write about What I Know For Sure....
1. I know I love my boys and husband
2. I know that I am blessed
3. I know that I hate running, I know that I love running
4. I know I love to eat
5. I know I need sleep and coffee
6. I know I have great family and friends in my life
7. I know my kids stress me out
8. I know I'm not perfect
9. I know I have goals and passions I will conquer
10. I know life is short and I need to slow down
11. I know I love to write
12. I know this world is full of so much good but we hear of so much bad
13. I know my dogs, Rasta& Thoreau, bring me peace
14. I know books bring me happiness
15. I know my dad watches over me
16. I know I'm on an awesome journey called life
17. I know I must embrace everyday to its fullest
18. I know I love a warm chocolate chip cookie with milk
19. I know I want a mini van
20. I know laughing is fun and I don't do it enough
What do you know for sure?

Floating

I'm trapped inside- The sides all around me are round and smooth to the touch
Softly I breathe
Placing my hands on both sides I lean my forehead against the soft surface
I can look down-up-sideways
Softly I breathe
I'm not nervous- I simply glide, feeling the gentle movement under my feet
Floating- feels peaceful
Softly I breathe
The wind picks up
My body sways
Back and forth I float- violently
gasping for breath
My body rolls into the smooth sides
I tumble and turn
I'm nervous now- I can't get my body to remain still
gasping for breath
The wind pushes me up
I just want to get out
gasping for breath
The soft sides feel like they have turned to thick rubber
I can't break out- I'm trapped
gasping for breath
overcome with fear- wait-stop-the wind...it is gone
gently I now float
reaching over the tree tops
I breathe
....POP!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

At pre-school the kids were asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Some replied; doctor, teacher and even a paleontologist. Guess what my boys want to be?
Koby says, "Spider man!" Konrad wants to be, "Lotso." (He's from the new Toy Story 3 movie.) At first I tried to explain, "Guys you can't be Spider man or Lotso, they aren't real." Two sets of little eyes blankly stared at me. "Why not, mom?" They both cried out in unison. I thought for a moment...Why not?

Sure there are many reasons why they can't be fictitious characters, but with my love and at times, obsession with Disney who's to say they won't become some character....but I digress...Why not?

So I reply..."You know what guys...you can be Spider man and Lotso! You can be anything you want to be." "Yahoo!" They turn around to run, Koby shooting spiderwebs and Konrad screaming, "I'm Lotso!!!!"

Smiling- I wonder what will they be? It sure will be fun waiting and watching.

Then I got to thinking....When do people really know what they want to be? How do you know? There are so many pressures on people to be something. To become something. To make money. To get stuff and lots of it. Then things happen,
black hair turns grey. Lines become wrinkles. Stomachs carry ulcers. Frowns replace smiles. Laughter is smothered by worry.
What do you want to be when you grow up?

"HAPPY." I reply

I call Spider man and Lotso in the room and give them each a big hug.

Pay it Forward

I just signed up for a run. It should be an awesome run. I will get to run(JOG), in my case, across home plate at Fenway Park. It is also awesome because I get to raise money for soldiers that are coming home. Since I signed up and will be running to honor my cousin Justin who served in Iraq...I've got to thinking... What does it mean to sacrifice?

In the game of baseball Big Papi might sacrifice a fly ball to send Pedroia home.
A mom or dad might sacrifice a new basement because their child needs braces.
But what if you are a soldier and you've been called to duty. The duty to serve your country. What does a soldier sacrifice?

Wearing a dusty helmet and carrying a heavy gun, that soldier sacrifices...
Fighting in the hot sun, that soldier sacrifices...
Sweat, fear, loneliness, tired, that soldier sacrifices...

What happens when the tour of duty is over and the soldier returns home?

Family and friends have been living their lives...
Soldier's children have grown, taken first steps, said their first words...
New babies of soldiers have been born while they have been away keeping us safe...
What does it mean to sacrifice?

I will never know the true meaning of what it means to sacrifice especially for people that I do not even know...I am not a soldier.
So this run makes me honored to be able to give back to Justin and all who have sacrificed for my family and my boys, Konrad and Koby.

For all the soldiers...you are a HERO
He or she, committed to keep us safe...YOU HAVE SACRIFICED
Everything they do is for our country...YOU HAVE SACRIFICED
Ready to serve at any moment...YOU HAVE SACRIFICED
Outstanding...YOU HAVE SACRIFICED

I will run (jog) strong that day in your honor.
Thank you for all that you do.

Please help me in raising $1,000 (or more) for the soldiers coming home.
Go to runtohomebase@redsox.com
Hit support
Donate to an individual
type in Kimberly Storch
press search
thank you, God Bless

The ZONE

ZONE...to be in a zone. There is a NO FLY ZONE for pilots. There is the END ZONE for football players. A SAFETY ZONE for worker people. A CRIME ZONE for the police. There are WAR ZONES for soldiers. There are TORRID, TEMPERATE, VARIABLE & FRIGID ZONES near the equator. There is a COMFORT ZONE in all of us. Yes, to be in the ZONE...just chillin. But wait....what if we should attempt to step out of our COMFORT ZONE. That is what a very inspirational person often tells me. "Kim-get out of your comfort zone." That advice began with my jogging in half marathons. I'd get discouraged and down that my breathing was off or my time was slow. I'd want an easy solution...slow down or walk. But I'd always hear...GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Slowly that advice would sink in and I'd train harder. Each race I feel a bit stronger...However, at times, I still need to tell myself to get out of my comfort zone. Which brings me to how I recently stripped off my comfort zone when I decided to do another Pelissey Penguin Plunge on New Year's Day. I was nervous and scared to do the plunge but I heard the words deep with in...comfort zone. So off I ran and dove into the frigid cold waters! So happy to start the New Year with my comfort zone off. Yet in every day life I have a huge comfort zone to get out of...it's not sitting on the couch or staying in bed. (I wish) It is the PERFECT ZONE, of wanting everything as close to perfect as possible, so that I turn into a total and complete stress case... the Christmas Tree is still up! the bathroom is messy! the laundry is piled high! the dog hair is everywhere! GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE....with these words and the knowledge that I can apply them to many facets of my life I have come to the IT'S OKAY ZONE. Not being perfect is OK. To just do the best I can...BUT not to settle and become complacent...to just stay a tad ahead of my comfort zone and know that stepping outside the zone I can breath an "AH"...and just chill.

Christmas Cheer

The true meaning of Christmas can sometime get lost with the stress of buying that perfect gift, of making sure everything looks just right and all the hustle and bustle of having only so many days left....here is a recipe for CHRISTMAS CHEER.
2/3 cup of GRATITUDE...be thankful for your many blessings.
1 cup of DELIGHT & JOY....marvel in the splendor of all the beautiful lights that decorate the Christmas Tree.
2 cups of TRUST...in knowing Baby Jesus was born for us.
3 cups of GRACE PEACE & HOPE...take in a deep breath and feel these three words warm your soul.
1/2 teaspoon of WISDOM...it is not in the amount of presents that we give or receive that will bring us the true meaning of Christmas.
1 1/2 cups of HARMONY...listen to the sounds of the season.
5 cups of LOVE...embrace all those around you. Share in the goodness of the season.
Merry Christmas to all.
Sit with a nice, decorated Christmas cookie, listen to Jingle Bells and Enjoy!
Peace & God Bless.

(Thanks Aunt Gay :)great idea.)